Confidence is easy to see in everyone else, and hard to see in ourselves. We often look in admiration at celebrities we think are beautiful or figures we think are flattering and believe if we only had what they had we would be so much happier. We can stare at style and glam all day but when it comes to what draws us to someone, that inner pull that someone has when they walk in the room and light it up, that magnetic attention, all comes down to confidence. That inner decision is that they accept themselves for exactly who they are and aren’t afraid to glow their light where they are.
Being confident requires a basic understanding of what one can accomplish and be able to stand in that truth without shame or embarrassment. Confidence is also believing one can meet life’s challenges and either succeed or learn from a possible failure.
There are unforeseen circumstances that come into our lives, no matter how much of a planner we are. Natural catastrophes, emotions, relationships, work, you name it, lead us to some of the decisions we have to make and might take us off the course we were hoping to stay on. Being able to course correct and allow for the changes that must be made without losing our identity builds confidence and eventually exudes from us.
Confident people are magnetic. They make a strong first impression and are quickly spotted in a room full of people. These individuals stand out as attractive leaders who are ready to take on a challenge. They put people at ease and are immediately trusted and revered. They are easy to play the comparison game with and wonder if you’re good enough to be at the party. But instead of comparing, learn some lessons from their confidence and you’ll begin to shine just as brightly as they.
“A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.” - Vivica Fox
Here are 5 Ways You Can Improve Your Confidence:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Cue Abraham Lincoln, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Another way to look at this is to accept yourself. Confident people have self-acceptance. They know what they excel at and they know what their flaws are. They accept both parts of themselves. One way to stop playing the comparison game is to avoid mindlessly scrolling on social media. All feeds are carefully curated and do we rarely see the behind-the-scenes of someone’s real life and emotions. When you do begin the comparison game, take your thoughts captive and learn to avoid your triggers. If you know something is going to send you spiraling into negative comparison, don’t put yourself in that situation. And always remember, you can’t use their outward appearance to judge the reality of someone’s life.
2. Surround Yourself With Positive People
You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Tony Robbins says “The only thing that will change your life, change your business, change your relationship, is that you must raise your standards". The law of attraction is all about bringing into your life that which you surround yourself with and think about. Confucius said, “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” To become the best version of yourself, you need to be challenged. Surround yourself with individuals who inspire you, motivate you, push you, and ultimately love you and want to see you succeed.
3. Take Care of Your Body
There are 3 elements of taking care of your body that is essential to all humans; nutrition, movement, and rest. What we eat today affects how we live tomorrow. Nourishing our bodies with nutrient-dense foods and drinking adequate amounts of water will keep us young and vibrant for much longer than if we do the opposite. In addition, moving our body will give us energy and boost our immune system, keeping us healthy and even happier in our life. Finally, taking care of our body means allowing it to rest. If we continue at a high pace without taking a break we will lose our ability to function physically. Our organs, cells, and mind all need rest to keep a healthy balance in our life.
4. Practice Positive Self-Talk
Self-talk is that constant inner voice that runs in your head all day long. Dr. Axe says there are 4 common reasons we pursue negative self-talk. Personalizing: Blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. Magnifying: You tend to focus only on negative factors of an experience or situation while ignoring the positive. Polarizing: You see things as “black and white,” without the gray or middle ground. This means that things are either negative or positive, good or bad. Catastrophizing: You always expect the worst or a negative outcome.” Positive self-talk is by changing the narrative to work in your favor instead of capitalizing on the negative. It’s our human nature to be disappointed and frustrated with ourselves, however, if we can change our self-talk into more positive, encouraging things like “I didn’t make it, but I’m getting better” or “this wasn’t the outcome I was looking for, but I will keep trying” this will eventually become our internal dialogue. As you change your mindset to a more positive approach, the more you will experience joy and authentic happiness.
5. Face Your Fears
In America, fear is, for the majority of us, mental. Instead of a physical fear where we must run for our lives, we deal with the internal angst of stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, these mental fears keep us from living carefree lives and we make excuses that we’ll never be able to change or get out of our rut. Learning how to overcome our fear is essential if you want to experience happiness. Without the fear response, we might not be able to succeed. We need a healthy dose of fear to get us motivated and possibly even to achieve lofty goals. However, some fears are unnecessary and could be posing as a threat that isn’t truly a threat. Identifying your fears is a great way to start. Max Lucado says “when you write your fears down on paper, they look silly.” For some of us that can be true. Seeing your fears written out might immediately help you. For others, we might need to sit with our fear and determine if we are truly threatened or possibly making up a false situation in our minds. How you respond to fear will set you apart from the crowd.
In Summary:
Confidence is magnetic and YOU can be that person in the room. Self-confidence is accepting you as you are, flaws and strengths combined. Comparing is silly because we have no idea what other individuals are going through. Surrounding yourself with positive people will ensure you are encouraged and uplifted and can do that for others as well. Take care of your body because what you do today is going to affect you tomorrow. Be nice to yourself and allow room for growth. Challenges are good and essential for learning and growing. Facing your fears will be the most invigorating experience of your life and will ultimately transform you and give you the resilience to course correct.